Seriously....is it him or is it me?!?

It sounds like there may be some underlying issues that your husband is dealing with, maybe from the past, work, stress or other things, I could be wrong though. Whatever may be, it isn't fair to either of you to have your marriage continue on that path of emotional turmoil. You may find a time when you are both in a good mood and be able to sit and talk about things, remember to leave out the "You never.." " You always" phrases and tell him how you feel and how you might move into a better relationship ie.. counseling and finding time to continue talking rationally to eachother. Hopefully he will soon find that you are trying to stick by him, help your relationship get through anything, and by this you do respect and love him.